Namesake Fail

Posted in Dumb Ideas Girls Have on February 10th, 2010 by bl1y

The January 2010 edition of Cosmopolitan (UK) features a few drink recipes to help you “Party Like an A-Lister.”  Naturally, they had to give a recipe for a Cosmo, but instead of giving the standard recipe, they gave what they dubbed the “Quick Cosmo.”

Naturally, the best cocktail ever!  This is a simple take on the classic mix.

50ml Vodka

100ml Cranberry Juice

Squeeze of 1 lime

Shake and strain.

Now, compare that to the International Bartenders Association (IBA) recipe:

40ml Citrus Vodka

15ml Cointreau

15ml Lime Juice

30ml Cranberry

The magazine’s recipe  dubs this a “simple” take on the classic recipe, but what’s so simple about it?  They just dropped an ingredient that’s incredibly common and takes virtually no effort to add, and reduced the amount of lime juice.  I guess squeezing less fruit makes things easier, but you most decent bars will have a bottle of lime juice for this very purpose, and failing that, they’ll have Roses.

But that’s not their biggest error.  This drink simply isn’t a Cosmo at all.  A Cosmo has 4 ingredients, vodka, cointreau/triple sec, cranberry juice and lime juice.  Without the cointreau or triple sec, it’s simply not a Cosmo, it’s a vodka and cranberry juice with a little bit of lime, better known as a “Vodka Cran.”  Or, for the mixologically inclined, a “Cape Codder.”

Calling this a Cosmo is like pouring a Maker’s Mark neat and calling it a Manhattan.

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NOW That’s What I Call Retarded

Posted in Dumb Ideas Girls Have on February 9th, 2010 by bl1y

In case you didn’t see the Pam and Tim Tebow Super Bowl commercial, here it is:

Leading up to the Super Bowl, women’s groups denounced the ad as anti-choice, despite all advance news of the ad suggesting nothing of the sort.  The ad is meant to urge women to choose life, but does not advocate removing that choice.  If advocating for one choice over another is anti-choice, then condom commercials are anti-choice and Obama girl is anti-democracy.

After the ad aired, the general consensus from major news outlets was that the ad was very unoffensive and no one would even have thought it was anti-abortion if it hadn’t been for all the people denouncing it ahead of time.

But not everyone had such a sensible take.  Terry O’Neill, president of the National Organization for Women (NOW) had this to say:

I am blown away at the celebration of the violence against women in it. That’s what comes across to me even more strongly than the anti-abortion message. I myself am a survivor of domestic violence, and I don’t find it charming. I think CBS should be ashamed of itself.

Whaaat?

This is clearly not violent.  Roughhousing, sure, but it’s not violent.  We know this because if Tim had tackled his dad no one would have said a word about it.  But apparently Ms. O’Neill thinks that a woman isn’t as strong as a man.

“You’re not nearly as tough as I am,” Pam tells Tim.  Apparently Pam Tebow disagrees that women are frail, weak creatures that need to be protected from the wanton violence of men.

And of course, I have to point out the context this was in.  It’s was on during the freaking Super Bowl, 60 minutes of men smashing into each other.  An roll in an F-16 fighter jet pulls about 9 gs.  A hard hit in football can easily get over 100 gs.  Pam Tebow’s hit (because it’s obviously simulated) comes in at about 4 gs.  So yeah, let’s treat women as though they can’t handle the force of a roller coaster, and immediately rush them to the hospital to check for concussion when they endure the 2.9 gs of a sneeze.  That’s the best way to promote equality.

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Feminists Are Hot (And Kinda Stupid)

Posted in Dumb Ideas Girls Have on February 6th, 2010 by bl1y

FilipovicIf you oppose abstinence-only sex education on the grounds that (in the words of Feministe blogger Jill Filipovic) “common sense, scientific study and the whole of human history has shown that telling people “Just say no” is a spectacular failure when it comes to sex,” then you don’t get to complain when someone you’re dating pressures you for sex or cheats on you during a dry spell.

Either we have irresistible urges, or we don’t.  Can’t have it both ways.

Also, Filipovic is pretty hot.  I noticed in my Feminist Jurisprudence class that feminist girls tend to be pretty hot, but with one caveat: they need to be pretty white bread.  Straight (or bi), white, no disabilities.  Basically, feminist=hot, feminist+intersectionality=major uggo.  But, for someone so upset about the saturation of airbrushed images we’re assaulted with on a daily basis, Filipovic wears a ton of makeup.  Foundation=good, Photoshop=bad?

Filipovic

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Legal Market Garden

Posted in Dumb Ideas Girls Have on January 28th, 2010 by bl1y

Looks like it’s time for yet another associate to sue their firm for discrimination.  This time Kamisha Menns, a black Jamaican woman, is suing after being fired from Howrey.  From her complaint, here’s the basic plot:

Menns was working in DC at Freshfields, completely happy and satisfied with her job.  Her complaint actually says she was happy and not looking to change firms.

Menns met a partner from Howrey while at an anti-trust conference who began recruiting her to work at Howrey.  She put in an application to work at Howrey’s Belgium office, was flown in for interviews with twelve different attorneys there.

Howrey then offered Menns a job in Belgium, along with a higher salary, moving expenses, and 10,000 Euro (~14,000 USD) signing bonus.

A bunch of shit that’s in dispute happened, Menns filed a complaint with Howrey’s main office, and then Howrey was fired, a mere 5 months after she was hired.

Menn’s argument is basically that she kept getting work away despite getting good reviews, and the firing was in retaliation for complaining about possible discrimination.  Unfortunately for her, her own account her hiring are pretty strong evidence that there wasn’t any prejudice against her.  You don’t go to that sort of effort to recruit a black women if you’re a bigot.

My guess about what happened is she interviewed really well but turned out to be a substandard lawyer.  The positive reviews were likely the result of people simply being polite and not wanting to insult her.  Attorneys don’t get bad reviews until a firm has decided to build a case for their dismissal.  Otherwise, lawyers being completely spineless wimps, everyone gets a good review.

And if I’m wrong, and she really was discriminated against, just think about what exactly that would mean.  Howrey actively recruited her when she wasn’t looking for a new job.  Did they really go to great lengths hire her for the sole purpose of just firing her a few months later and leaving her stranded in a foreign country with poor job prospects?  If so, is that the type of firm you want to get into a legal battle with?  This isn’t Jim v. Dwight level office pranks.  If Menns’s accusations are true, she should get the hell away from there, quick.

PS: Menns is suing for $30 million dollars.  What a fucking joke.

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Breaking: Black Woman Angry About Something

Posted in Dumb Ideas Girls Have on January 25th, 2010 by bl1y

As you may already be aware, The Deep End on ABC aired to almost universally bad reviews.  But, Natalie Holder-Winfield, a “diversity lawyer” (whatever that means, I think she just tells you to hire blacks to avoid law suits) has managed to complain about the one thing the show got right: diversity.

“While I can toss out most of the show’s antics as hyperbole — for starters, no partner would allow a first year associate to go within 20 feet of a client–the show is 100% correct when it comes to life at a firm for blacks and Latinos. For the most part, we do not exist.

Scenes like the one where Dylan, the first year associate who is described as a Boy Scout, is tapped for mentorship, help explain why associates of color only account for 15% of law firm associates. Rowdy Kaiser, a partner who drives a smoking Porsche, actually appoints himself as Dylan’s “secret mentor.” And, he lives up to his promise. Behind the scenes, he coaches Dylan and even helps him to navigate a difficult case where the firm would have lost a potential client if Dylan made one false move.

However, there are rarely secret mentors for associates of color. Many of the associates of color I interviewed for my book, Recruiting & Retaining a Diverse Workforce: New Rules for a New Generation were treated like outsiders. They were not invited to social functions with partners and they certainly were not tapped for secret mentoring. Yet, study after study shows the importance of mentoring in any profession.

Now, technically, the show has two black people: Susan Oppenheim (a named partner in the firm) and Malcolm Bennet (a first year associate).

Yet, when Susan is introduced to Malcolm, she literally closes the door in his face. She disregards him and is more concerned with the firm’s politics, i.e., how he was hired, rather than eying him as her secret mentee.

The white associates in the show were given so much access and support. While they commiserated about the same old things that annoy all associates, they could at least dream about a future at the firm. They were a part of the firm.”

I can’t say for sure that I follow Ms. Holder-Winfield’s complaint.  Is it that the show doesn’t have enough black people, or that real law firms don’t?  Well, she can’t just be complaining about firms not having enough black people, because she otherwise wouldn’t need to talk so much about the show.  So, I guess her complaint is that the show is too accurate in this regard.

What’s worse about her complaint, aside from being confusing, is that she acknowledges that there are indeed black people working at the firm.  So far the show has 9 main characters, 3 partners, 5 associates, and 1 paralegal.  Of those 9, one partner and one associate are black.  I’ll let you do some thinking about what percentage of the United States is black.  Blacks are 12.4% of the population, but 22% of the people working at the firm; 25% of the attorneys.  They’re overrepresented by a factor of 100%!  And Holder-Winfield is complaining about discrimination by the firm?  What a jackass.

Just to make Holder-Winfield’s comments even more ridiculous is that she completely misrepresents how the white characters are treated:

Dylan (white) is intentionally given a start date 10 days late to put him into a reputational hole that he’ll now have to dig his way out of.

Addy (white) is given assignments by two different partners that, due to time constraints, cannot both be complete.  She is shut down when trying to explain this and is berated when she finds a solution by getting help from a fellow associate.

Beth (white) is talked down to by her lawyer-father for not being aggressive enough to survive in the legal world, and is then passive-aggressively taunted by a client when she allows her convictions to collapse.

Doesn’t really seem like the whites were given as much access and support as Holder-Winfield imagines they are.  Not only that, but law firms aren’t as all-white as she imagines.  At my firm there were 7 starting corporate associates.  3 were white, 3 were hispanic, and 1 was some sort of ambiguous Near-East/Indian blend.  One of the 3 white people was a French national, and I think counts for some diversity points.

But I digress.  What’s really obnoxious about Holder-Winfield is that she thinks partners ought to select their mentees based on race.  She wanted Susan to mentor Malcolm simply because they’re both black.  At that point in the show, Addy has been working for Susan and just proven herself to be very intelligent and capable.  Susan selects her to second chair an important trial.  So, it looks like Susan has just chosen a mentor based on the content of her character, but Holder-Winfield wants Susan to throw that away and choose Malcolm based solely on the color of his skin.

Ms. Holder-Winfield, you are what is wrong with this country.  And, just to counteract how incredibly wrong you are, here’s something that’s incredibly right (though so very far from earning diversity points):

BlaireBlaire

PS: Malcolm already has a partner in his corner.  One of the (white) partners goes against established firm hiring procedures to bring in a hand-selected associate.  I guess he technically doesn’t have a secret mentor, but isn’t a public mentor, going to bat for you on your very first day of work a whole lot better?

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Bridget Crawford is a Moron

Posted in Dumb Ideas Girls Have on January 16th, 2010 by bl1y

I mentioned this yesterday, but I just really feel like it’s needs some elaboration. Pace Law professor Bridget Crawford is calling for a boycott of an NYSBA panel in which several prominent male members of the legal industry will give advice to women on how they can advance their careers. About the panel, Crawford said:

“Men have been telling us FOR YEARS how we don’t measure up. To have a panel of men, endorsed by the New York State Bar Association, discussing our “strengths and weaknesses,” is a regression and an insult to all women in the legal profession.”

First, a quick note…Professor Crawford is not a member of the legal profession. She is not a legal professional. She is a member of the academic profession, and just happens to teach law. Though, as far as academics and scholarship go, she mostly focuses on feminism, so she’s not really even teaching that much law. She’s basically a sociology or gender studies professor.

But, on to the real issue. I doubt Crawford objects to male attorneys interviewing female law students for summer jobs. And, I doubt she objects to male attorneys being on law firm hiring committees, even when those committees make decisions about women. And certainly she would allow a male partner for whom a female associate worked to provide a performance evaluation of that associate. And, I bet she’d even be okay with male partners voting in partner meetings to decide whether a female associate should be promoted into the partnership.

So if men are already quite properly discussing the strengths and weaknesses of female attorneys, what’s so wrong with men giving insight into what they perceive as the strengths and weaknesses of their female coworkers? Even if the men have completely ass-backwards ideas about women, it would be incredibly useful for women to know this.

I think what’s really going on here is that Professor Crawford saw that men were talking about women and decided to be offended. The Race to be Offended is a popular pastime among feminists (and some other groups), but too often the race is won before anyone stops to consider whether they really ought to be offended in the first place.

Also, interesting factoid that might get lost in this whole mess: Pace University has a law school. With dumbass professors like Ms. Crawford, it’s no wonder Pace is ranked a whole order of magnitude lower than the Third Tier Toilets.

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Why Your Diet Fails

Posted in Dumb Ideas Girls Have on January 14th, 2010 by bl1y

Any time I check my tag surfer, I see some sort of post about people dealing with hunger when trying to diet. A lot of people try using things like Diet Coke either as a replacement for their normal calorie-rich caffeine source, or as a way to fill up their stomachs and stave off hunger.

The problem is they don’t understand how hunger works. Drinking something sweet like Diet Coke will make you more hungry. Your body got hungry and you responded by telling it there is food around. So of course, your hunger doesn’t go away. Human still operate on caveman software, and cavemen needed to gorge to survive because of the risk of not finding food again soon. Once you tell your body food is around it will want to eat until it’s full.

Instead of something flavorful to fill up on, you need to go for low flavor things, like water, black coffee, or unflavored rice cakes. These tell your body that there isn’t anything worth eating, and soon your body will stop sending hunger signals to your brain. And, the less hungry you are, the easier it is to keep to your diet.

If this isn’t making sense, try thinking about hunger as an unattractive guy at a club or a bar. If he comes up and talks to you and you make conversation with him (aka: feed him something empty but tasty), he’ll become more interested and keep wanting to talk to you. But, if you brush him off (give him a rice cake), he’ll realize he’s not getting anywhere and give up.

I don’t plan on making any more posts on dieting in the near future, so I’ll just toss in some odds and ends on this one.

1. Don’t eat anything you don’t know the nutritional contents of. The four big things to look at are calories, fat, carbs, and sodium. Anything packaged has this info printed right on it, and virtually every restaurant has the info available online or on location. Look before you leap. The Arby’s Roast Beef and Swish Market Fresh Sandwich sounds like one of their healthier options, right? 810 calories, 42g of fat, and 1,780mg sodium say otherwise. It’s like eating two Super Roast Beef sandwiches.

2. Pay attention to sodium. Most people just look at calories, fat or carbs, but sodium is the secret diet killer. Too much sodium will make you retain water, and that can lead to quick weight gain. It’s easy to find fast, convenient foods that are low in fat and calories, but they’re usually super high on sodium. A Subway 6-inch double roast beef sub (that’s double the meat; you get a foot-long of meat on a 6-inch roll to save 230 calories) has 360 calories and 7g of fat, but 1,300mg of sodium; that’s way more than half your daily allowance.

3. Sushi is your friend. It’s one of the few things you can find that’s low on sodium (and fat and calories) that you don’t have to cook yourself. Sashimi is better, but you normally don’t eat too much rice with sushi anyways, so it’s not a huge deal. But, you must avoid spicy rolls. The heat comes from a spicy mayo blend, and mayo is a no-no when you’re on a diet. You also need to avoid using soy sauce. One tablespoon contains over 1000mg of sodium, over 40% of what you should consume in a day. Low sodium soy sauce isn’t much better, with over 500mg of sodium, or about 20% of your daily intake. The best option is to find out what fish you like the flavor of and learn to appreciate it.

4. Avoid any extreme diet. Any program that says to cut out a basic nutritional line, like carbs on Atkins, or EVERYTHING on the Master Cleanse is doomed to failure. Your body is a machine and needs fuel to operate. It must have carbs, calories, fat and protein or it will shut down. You will be much better off cutting each of these a small amount than cutting one a lot.

5. Plan your meals ahead of time. It’s easier to limit your portions when you’re not hungry, so plan your meals a good 5-6 hours before you’re going to eat (and stick to it). Whenever possible, set aside what you’re going to have in advance, or write it down. This makes it easier to stick with the plans you made when you weren’t hungry. For snacks and such, each morning try putting your daily limit into a bag or lunchbox and when it’s empty, don’t allow yourself any more snacks that day.

6. Walk. Walking at a leisurely pace for one hour every day will result in half a pound lost per week. This is a great way to add in more exercise when you feel too tired. You’re almost never too tired to put one foot in front of the other. Plus, you don’t need to bother with changing clothes, showering after, or going down to your gym, all of which makes it a low-hassle exercise.

7. Beware of “good fats.” Some fats are definitely better than others, no doubt. But, they’re still fat. Remember, you still have to limit your portions, you want to avoid the “health halo” (the tendency to over eat healthy foods). People at Subway consume on average 350 more calories than people who eat at McDonald’s. Consider that a 6 inch tuna sub contains 530 calories, 31g of fat and 1010mg of sodium, while a quarter-pounder (without cheese) is 410 calories, 19g of fat and 730mg of sodium.

8. Eat slower. It takes time for your stomach to signal your brain that it’s full. The faster you eat, the more unnecessary food is consumed between being full and feeling full. Also, it helps to not go back and forth between different foods. Changing flavors makes us hungrier (again, a result of your body thinking there is more food around). Try to stick with one item until you’re done with it (either finished, or given up).

9. Stand in front of your mirror with your shirt off and jiggle your fat. Do this for at least one full minute three times a week. This won’t sit well with the “love your body” crowd, but accept that while there are things about your body you can love, it’s perfectly fine to have parts of it you want to declare war on. Try not to think of it as a true part of your body, but an infection that’s invaded and must be disposed of. Fat is the Nazis and you’re the Dutch Resistance, not Vichy France.

10. Stop hating skinny girls. It’s incredibly hard to lose weight when you demonize those smaller than you. You don’t have to idolize people who are skinny to the point of it being a health risk, but remind yourself that plenty of people are thin, fit and healthy. When you hate skinny girls you make your size an “us v. them” battle, and as long as “them” is thin, attractive people, you’ll subconsciously prevent yourself from joining their camp. Put the traditional, thin, beautiful women into two camps: people you want to look more like, and people who are irrelevant and you won’t spend any more time thinking about. Too many women use Kate Moss as an excuse to stay fat, thinking that once they start to get thin it’s a slippery slope straight to completely disappearing. But of course that’s horse shit. There’s a sexy middle ground to be found (though, it’s far thinner than where the average weight is, so don’t use that as your metric).

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How to Spot a Player

Posted in Dumb Ideas Girls Have on January 13th, 2010 by bl1y

It’s no wonder so many silly girls have dumb ideas when it comes to dating when they get advice during their formative years from craptacular resources such as 17 Magazine. They have a page on their website where “cute guys” (aka: guidos with braces) will answer your questions so you can learn all about boys.

The current question is “How can girls spot a player?” Here’s a list of the answers the guys gave:

“By the way he dresses and talks to girls around him.” – Cameron, 15

“When he always tells you what you want to hear.” – Joey, 15

“They just know.” – Dillon, 16

“If a guy talks about himself a lot rather than the girl’s interests.” – John, 17

“When he looks at other girls, but say’s [sic] he’s looking at you.” – Chris, 17

“If they talk to every girl in school.” – JP, 15

“By how many girls he’s dated.” – Andrew, 16

Every guy talks about their interests, everyone is their own favorite subject. If a guy notices other girls, it means he just has a functioning penis. If he lies about it, that means he has a functioning brain. Talking to every girl might just be a sign that he’s friendly. And of course, telling girls that they just know is terrible advice to give to someone who is obviously asking because they don’t know.

There is only really one way to spot a player: you want to jump his bones before you’ve been on a date.

Assume that every guy who can get you aroused very quickly before any sort of real relationship exists is a player and you’ll be right 95% of the time. It’s not that being a player makes you able to quickly attract girls, but rather the reverse. Having a natural talent for turning girls on will turn almost any guy into a player.

That’s the Catch 22, ladies. The more attractive a guy is, the more options he has and the less likely he’ll be willing to settle with you.

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How to Lose the Power (the DABA Way!)

Posted in Dumb Ideas Girls Have on January 12th, 2010 by bl1y

As much I try to be a fan of the DABA Girls, sometimes they just end up being silly girls with dumb ideas; this time they decided to tell women the key to getting power over men is to withhold sex.

Just think about it. What if every single woman out there stopped having sex. No more one night stands. No more casual hook-ups. No more f*ck buddies. No more ex-sex. No more let’s start having sex and if it’s good then attempt to backtrack into a relationship. The boys of New York would have to start working for it!

There’s just one teencie-weencie problem with their plan: girls like sex too. They like it every bit as much as guys do. Maybe even more. Just think, the last time your neighbors were pounding on the wall/ceiling telling you to keep it down, were they complaining about your orgasmic screams or hers?

All it takes for girls to lose at withholding sex is for guys to just keep in mind that she wants it just as bad and is on the verge of cracking any moment. The only difference is girls have more practice pretending they’re not horny.

There’s actually a second problem: sluts. Sorry ladies, but a sex embargo only works if no ships get through, and there’s a fleet of girls who won’t hold out as long as you will.

Withholding sex will ultimately hurt the girls doing it. Sex is a source of power, but only when you use it. If you withhold it, we’ll get it elsewhere and then you have even less power, so that kinda defeats the purpose.

There are two simple steps to using sex to get power over a relationship:

1) Cardio and yoga. Get as fit as possible. Not female(?) body-builder fit, but hot fit.

2) Get so good at sex that what you have he can’t find elsewhere. This means doing more than lying down and let him do all the work. It also means doing more than getting on your hands and knees and letting him do 98% of the work.

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5 Girls Who Should Be Banned From Dating Sites

Posted in Dumb Ideas Girls Have on January 12th, 2010 by bl1y

1. Girl who doesn’t live where she says.

Some girls, afraid of stalkers and other weirdos, won’t give the real city that they live in. This would make sense if you lived somewhere like Enterprise, Mississippi, a town of less than 500 people. But in most places, it’d be pretty hard to track someone down based on just a picture and (maybe) a first name. Not only are these girls paranoid to the point where you don’t want to date them anyways, but they screw up the whole system.

One of the first thing people filter for on dating sites is location. Most people on there actually want to meet someone, so they narrow the search to people who live in the same city. So, if you lie about what city you live in, the people who live in your city will never see your profile. Way to completely defeat the purpose of a dating site.

2. Girl with a bare bones profile.

Most girls will say they want a guy to be interested in more than just their looks. But, a lot of these girls keep dating profiles that do nothing to differentiate themselves from the rest of the pack. You like music? Wow! That’s soooo interesting! I’m totally going to take time out of my day to send you a message asking about your interest in music.

If you present yourself as a generic person, the only thing left to find attractive is your looks. So, either develop a personality or stop complaining when all we care about is the twins.

3. Girl who complains in her profile.

Worse than having a sparse profile is having one that’s full of bitching. Don’t mention your failed relationships. Everyone has them, and they’re not necessarily anything to be ashamed of, but it’s not something you want to advertise to people you haven’t even met.

Don’t complain about asshole guys. We don’t care that you’re getting a zillion messages a day from people you aren’t interested in. You sound like a stuck up bitch who just wants to show off how popular she is, and in doing so, you’re probably going to reveal that you have a generally low opinion of men. Not really what we’re looking for.

Don’t claim to have haters. Unless you’re a real life celebrity, you don’t have haters, you just have bitches you’ve pissed off by being a bigger bitch than they are.

And I’m only throwing in this last one because I’ve actually seen it, twice. Not making this up. Don’t mention being the victim of double digit rapes. Being a rape victim once is awful. Twice is tragic. More than 10 times though? Odds are you either exercise extremely poor judgment, or you just like to throw around rape accusations. Not going to attract many men by making them think they’ll be put on trial when you break up. …On the other hand, maybe you should keep that on your profile, so we know to avoid your psychotic ass.

4. Girl who isn’t there to date.

There’s a surprising number of girls on dating sites who say they aren’t there to meet anyone; some of them have it right in their profiles. The explanation is usually they just joined to take the quizzes or because a friend joined (and needed moral support?).

Don’t believe them. Believe that they aren’t interested in meeting anyone, but not their reason for being on the site. You don’t have to post five pictures (with at least one in your underwear) to take the quizzes or support your friend. You’re an attention whore. And, your waste of space profile makes it harder for people actually looking to find someone. Get out of the damn way!

5. Girl with all the angles.

Never trust a top-down picture; her tits are hiding her fat.

Never trust a girl ho doesn’t have a full body picture.

Never trust a girl who takes all her pictures from the same angle.

Assume a girl is only as attractive as her least attractive picture. Odds are she’s worse.

[Head over to CollegeCandy.com for 5 Guys Who Should be Banned From Dating Sites]

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