Every time there’s some major disaster, there’s usually a whacko religious figure claiming it’s God’s vengeance on us. Katrina was sent to punish us for tolerating gays by destroying all of the New Orleans except the gay district. 9/11 was punishment for letting the ACLU stand up for the rights of God-haters, like atheists and lesbians. Forest fires are sent because we ignore the Bible’s ban on book learnin’.
But, this time around I haven’t heard any of these crazy theories, so I’m putting up my own. British Petroleum is the Angel of the LORD, punishing us for ignoring the Bible’s prohibition against eating shellfish.
And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you.
And while I’m at it, I’m going to blame the earthquake in Haiti on violation of this passage:
And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you. Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcass shall ye not touch; they are unclean to you.
There are 20 Haitians playing in the NFL (pig skin), representing a full three quarters of all income collected by Haitians worldwide.