Noon-Thirty News 08/05/10

How Not to Respond to Racial Discrimination

[Associated Press]

The family of Omar Thornton, the man who went on a shooting spree at Hartford Distributors (a beer distribution facility), is claiming that racial bias caused Omar to snap.

Thornton had said he found a picture of a noose and a racial epithet written on a bathroom wall [...]

Brett Hollander, whose family owns the distributor, denied any racial bias. And a union official said Thornton had not filed a complaint of racism with the union or any government agency.

The more immediate cause of the murders seems to be that Omar Thornton was confronted with video of him stealing beer. He pulled the gun after being forced to sign a letter of resignation.

Before turning the gun on himself after being cornered by the police, Thornton said:

I killed the five racists that was there that was bothering me. The cops are going to come in so I am going to take care of myself.

Thornton’s shooting spree left 8 dead and two others injured.

For those of you who want to have one (or eight) in memory of the victims, Hartford Distributors handles Heineken (but not Grolsch), Amstel Light, Bohemia, Sol, Carta Blanca, Tecate, and Dos Equis.

Harvard Grad King of Nail Fungus

[Hunterdon Democrat]

Harvard Law graduate Jeff Treut has found a very unusual alternative career path.  He’s in the process of launching a home-made foot fungus remedy.

Pretty soon law school admissions offices will be telling 0Ls that you can do anything with a law degree, including becoming a chemist or pharmaceutical mogul.

Breaking: Lawyer Retires

[Chicago Tribune]

Well respected Cook County prosecutor Colin Simpson is calling it quits after 40 years of service, which included lawyerly tasks such as answering the offices phones, making coffee, and fixing the copy machine.

Though unconfirmed, this is perhaps the first legitimate retirement of a lawyer in the last decade, not counting dismissals and being shoved out the door.  There may be hope for the younger generation yet.

Just kidding, you’ll probably work until you die.

Supreme Court Blah Blah Blah

[Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

Congress looks like it may pass a law requiring the Supreme Court to let in video cameras.  But, the Supreme Court is likely to strike down the law on a separation of powers doctrine.  End of story.

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7 Responses to “Noon-Thirty News 08/05/10”

  1. Chris Says:

    The assumption that you will “Work until you die” seems to be a common joke seen in almost all law related online. I recognize that law school tuition is obscene, but if you do land a biglaw job and hold on to it until you are denied partner (Eight years!) then you should have a substantial amount of money on hand if you have a high savings rate.

    Perhaps lawyers have little self control and demand an opulent lifestyle even their paychecks cannot afford?

  2. bl1y Says:

    I agree that they ought to be able to get out. But, it’s rare that lawyers actually do leave.

    At the firm I worked at there were a couple service partners who billed 3000+ hours and had done so for several years. You’d think by the time they got promoted to partner their loans would be very low, if not gone. And in a couple years you could bank $500k-1M and then use that money to supplement your income at a much more sane job.

    But, that’s not what happens. They stay in the jobs and work until death. I think a lot of it is because people who get to those positions in the first place have to be the kind of person who gets all of their self worth and identity from their job. They’re precisely the types who won’t cash out. They don’t want to give up thinking of themselves as a big firm lawyer, they don’t want to give up the prestige or the appearance of importance.

  3. Chris Says:

    That’s a good point, albeit a depressing one for someone who considers himself relatively normal. Still, I guess I can try to hide my penchant for low cost hobbies and disdain for ostentatious displays of wealth with a leased 3 Series.

    This is a bit of a random question, but I’ve read a lot of your blog and you seem to be intelligent so I’ve become quite curious. Why did you get canned as opposed to other junior associates? If you could go back to your first day of work, what would you do differently?

  4. Shark Says:

    I don’t know about bl1y, but I gots to warn you about dipping his wick in the company inkwell, dude. It will get you every time. Let that be a lesson to you before you join a law firm. Never bone the boss’s wife.

  5. Number 2, please Says:

    Yep, crude, idiotic sex jokes.

    Good times.

    Make sure my fries are piping hot, Shark

  6. bl1y Says:

    Don’t dip your wick in the company fryalator.

  7. Minnow Says:

    Hey, it worked with Dean Wormer’s wife in Animal House! Go for it! All the dippin’ you can handle!

    I vote for shark! Shark for presedent!

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