Over on AboveTheLaw.com, there was a story about the Brooklyn Law 2010 Class Gift, pictured below, with a hilarious student comment added to the side.
Dick jokes aside, the whole idea of a class gift is a joke. Brooklyn Law, the 6th best school in the state, and only 5th best in New York City, charges $43,990 a year in tuition. Cripes! That’s higher than Harvard, Berkeley, Michigan, and Virginia, and within a few thousand of the other top 10 schools.
And people give them a freaking gift! A gift?! WHAT?!
These people do not love you. They are not your friends. They do not care about you. All you are is dollar signs to them. You do not owe them anything, you do not have to “give back” to the school. You already “gave forward” $130,000.
Your professors double dip by assigning their own casebooks or writing study guides that will make or break you on the exam. That, and their cushy six figure salaries for doing part-time work is their gift. Their ability to hang on to your tuition dollars even when you default on your loans is their gift. You do not, and should not “give back” to your law school.
If anything, law schools should give back to their students. How about a graduation gift? Maybe the school could foot the bill for your cap and gown rental at graduation? Or they could pay for your bar review classes to cover the material they didn’t bother teaching, but which you’re not legally allowed to practice without knowing? Or maybe, as some schools have started doing, paying employers to take students who are unable to find work? Or, at the very least, after fucking your students in the ass for three straight years, how about a god damn reach around? Is that so much to ask?
And seriously, Brooklyn, there is a far more appropriate line from A League of Their Own:
You’re gonna lose! You’re gonna lose!