I know you like to think that your shit don’t stink, but you shat in your vagina.

Melissa Lee Williams, a West Virginia woman (so to speak) has been held on weapons charges and assault after brandishing a knife and demanding that her estranged husband, Danny Williams, or Adam Watson (some other dude Melissa brought to the hotel where she met up with her ex) eat the gefilte fish taco. [The Smoking Gun]

While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.” Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”

I…I just don’t know what to say. Summer’s Eve y’all.  Come on.

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19 Responses to “I know you like to think that your shit don’t stink, but you shat in your vagina.”

  1. unemployed lawyer Says:

    LMAO.. this was hilarious!

  2. Henrich Jonas Says:

    Ya, rotten herring is not as bad as a woman’s stinking crotches. I stay away from women 6 day each month and more if not clean.

    I do not even like herring. Men need NOT let women expect cuntalinggis. Now all women with smelly crotches will expect us to have fish sandwich.

  3. Henrich Jonas Says:

    I forgot to say that in college, when a girl from Virginia pulled her pants down, I had to leave the room. And I was horny then.

  4. outragedbythismuch! Says:

    Deesgusting!

    She didn’t need to pull a knife, she was already wielding a deadly weapon (who knows what the hell she has?!) Little stinkipus!

    Summer’s Eve won’t cut it….she needs something covering all Seasons (and anything in between). Perhaps the same solution hospitals provide those who have been sprayed by a skunk?

    He should sue her under any number of tort….she can open her legs in court as evidence. Phew!

  5. Nando Says:

    BL1Y, you find the craziest stories. Good job! In this particualr case, the man may have been better off with a slit throat.

  6. bl1y Says:

    Yeah, I’d rather have a cool scar and a story to tell.

  7. Bryce Says:

    dating by ethnicity

    ENGLISH WOMEN

    First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.

    Second date: You get to grope her all over and make out a bit.

    Third date: You get to have sex but only when she wants to, and only in the missionary position.

    IRISH WOMEN

    First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

    Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

    20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

    ITALIAN WOMEN

    First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.

    Second Date: You meet her parents and her mum makes spaghetti & meatballs.

    Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.

    5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.

    6th Anniversary: You find yourself a mistress.

    CHINESE WOMEN

    First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.

    Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.

    Third date: You don’t even get to the third date and you’ve already realized nothing is ever going to happen.

    INDIAN WOMEN

    First date: Meet her parents.

    Second date: Set the date of the wedding.

    Third date: Wedding night.

    BLACK WOMEN

    First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.

    Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.

    Third Date: You get to pay her rent.

    Tenth Date: She’s pregnant by someone other than you.

    MEXICAN WOMEN

    First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.

    Second Date: She’s pregnant.

    Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her sister’s boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.

    JEWISH WOMEN

    First Date: You will have to spend all your money to impress.

    Second Date: You will take a loan to keep the image.

    Third Date: You are broke, she finds someone wealthier.

    ARAB WOMEN

    First Date: Mother, father, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends and entire Arab community finds out.

    Second Date: You are beheaded.

  8. Bryce Says:

    Smelly POO-Say, I say! No thanks. Gotta be mighty hungry to eat that.

  9. Anonymous Says:

    Woman issues, huh?

  10. Mork Says:

    Man, if she’s got heinous desires regarding her kitty, I wonder what issues surround her fundament…

    Yeeesssh <>

  11. Henrich Jonas Says:

    P.S. why do they call a woman’s vagina a pussy any way?

    I really don’t understand why this is. Any answers here?

  12. bl1y Says:

    From the Old English word “pusa” which originally meant a purse, but became slang for vulva…the obvious reasons.

  13. KTope Says:

    Summer’s Eve??

    Have you ever smelled that vile shit? It’s like a mixture of rotten flesh and insecticide. I nearly vomited while eating out a girl that was fresh out of the shower. I stopped and fucked her, confused as hell as to the source of the smell. Afterwards we took a rinse off shower together and I recognized the stench’s source to be a bottle of Summer’s Eve. I told her how awful it was (and that she normally tastes fine) so she threw the bottle away.

  14. The Faux Trixie Says:

    Every woman knows that douching actually makes the situation worse.

  15. bl1y Says:

    You really think that would have made this situation worse?

  16. wlmingtonwave Says:

    To follow up on this, she got 90 days in jail
    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/malodorous-perp-gets-90-days-jail
    Yay legal system.

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