Reason Not to Go to Law School #35

You will not make the world a better place through cookies.  Or law.

Harold:  So…When did you decide to become a baker?

Ana:  Oh.  In college.

Harold:  Oh. Like, in cooking college?

Ana:  No.  I went to Harvard Law.

Harold:  Oh.  Oh.  Geez. I– sorry.  I just assumed…  Sorry.

Ana:  No.  It’s alright.  I didn’t finish.  I uh… uh…

Harold:  Did something happen?

Ana:  Not really.  I was…  I was barely accepted.  I mean, barely.  The only reason they let me come was because of my essay.  How I was going to make the world a better place with my degree.  and I went there thinking…  well, I went thinking that I might make a difference and uh… well…  Harvard Law has the smartest people in the world, people who will one day shape the earth, and it’s competitive and vicious and exhausting…  And I’d have to participate in these study sessions, classmates and I, all night long.  Sometimes for a couple days straight.  And so…

And so I would bake– cookies usually– so no one would go hungry while we worked.  I’d bake all afternooon in the kitchen in the dorm before a big study session and write down what I was doing in one of those black Mead Journals they sell by the gross in the campus bookstore.  And I’d bring my little treats to the study groups… and people loved them.  Oatmeal cookies, peanut butter bars, chocolate chip and macadamia nut wedges.  And everyone would eat and stay happy and study harder and do better on the tests and more people would come to the study groups and the study groups got better and I would make more snacks and try to find better recipes and the results would always get better and better and soon it was cheese and apricot croissants and mocha bars with almond glaze and lemon chiffon cakes with zesty peach icing and our study groups were famous around all of Cambridge: not because we have the most copious notes, or the smartest people, but because we had the best snacks…

And at the end of the spring term…  I had 27 study partners, eight black Mead journals filled with recipes… and a D average.

So I dropped out.  Simply, without alarm, and without any regrets.  I just figured if I was gonna make the world a better place… I’d do it with cookies.

[Never mind that aside from wait lists, no one knows the margin by which they got accepted, and no one's personal essay gets them into Harvard Law.]

Tons of people go to law school with plans of fighting for the little guy, having an impact on society, and making the world a better place.  Law school is, by far, one of the worst ways to do that.  Odds are you’ll be stuck taking the highest paying job you can get because it’s the only way to pay off your massive debt load, and even when your loans are paid off, you probably won’t leave private practice to do public interest work.  You’re no different from all the other people who think they’re going to change the world but end up spending their lives filing 8-Ks for Goliath Corporation.

If you really want to serve the public and make the world a better place there are far more effective ways to do it than law school.  Teach in an underprivileged neighborhood and offer free after-school tutoring.  Become an EMT and work for your local disaster response team.  Join the peace corps.

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5 Responses to “Reason Not to Go to Law School #35”

  1. Guano Dubango Says:

    I would like to find a woman like this interested in doing something for “the cause”. Once I find out what the cause is, I can nuzzle closer to a woman like this. Since we would have something in common, I would have a better chance of banging such a woman. I think this is a very pretty woman. Not too young, but experienced enough to be able to teach me a thing or two in bed. I would be like the Snow Leopard with her, as long as my Aunt Ooona did not find out. She would not want me to be with anyone other than a local virgin.

  2. Thisson Says:

    Actually, the most effective way to make the world a better place is to become RICH and hire other people to improve it, since those poor slobs will do the work for 30k/year or so.

    So instead of working for 30k/year yourself, chase the most lucrative pursuit you can (I hear finance careers work well).

    What nobody wants to acknowledge is that people do these jobs for the “selfish” reason that it makes them feel good – not to actually achieve the stated result of improving the world, because, as you correctly note, if the result were the primary motive people would find more effective ways to achieve that result.

  3. Some Guy Says:

    On a more important note, when will Hollywood come to its senses and stop giving Maggie Gyllenhaal film roles? Unless its a movie about bee sting victims or women with severe food allergies, she has no business being on camera.

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