If I Can’t Get Laid, At Least Get Me This

Posted in Uncategorized on September 16th, 2010 by bl1y

Hey, all you little shits that troll in the comment sections, it’s time for you to step up and actually contribute something.  The ABA Journal is making its list for the Blawg 100 and is accepting amici briefs.  Go here to fill out the form and nominate yours truly.

Those of you (both of you) who contribute intelligent, reasoned comments are also invited to participate.

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Noon-Thirty News 08/02/10

Posted in News on August 2nd, 2010 by bl1y

Bar exam is done, hangover has subsided, all that’s left is the MPRE (lol) and getting your daily news fix restored.

Breaking: Junior Associates Not That Valuable

[ABA Journal]

A new podcast from the ABA Journal discusses the value of junior associates in large law firms.  No surprise, their billing rates are too high and their skill levels too low.  Everyone who is feeling the pressure of the recession (ie: everyone) is looking at ways to get more bang for their buck, and that’s going to mean much less demand for junior associate work:

I was at a group of general counsel oh about a month ago and the question was asked how many of you give instructions to reduce or eliminate the use of junior associates and about half the people raised their hand in the room.

Recession, meet Longevity.

Philadelphia Lawyer Busted for Growing Pot

[420 Magazine]

Attorney Richard K. Creamer was busted for conspiracy to manufacture and sell marijuana after police raided a 1600-plant indoor farm in Philadelphia that produced 15-22 pounds of high quality marijuana a month, with an estimated retail price of $5000-$5500 per pound.

Now, by “Philadelphia Lawyer” I don’t mean THE Philadelphia Lawyer of Happy Hour is for Amateurs fame.  But…I mean…come on.  It’s him, right?

This Little Piggy Went to Law School

[The Careerist]

The Careerist asks whether women professionals risk losing credibility and respect by exposing their toes in the office.

Perhaps the best advice comes from my law school bud, Jennifer, who says it’s the “overall presentation” that counts. “If the whole outfit is too casual or provocative, then that translates to ‘unprofessional,’” she says. “If the clothing is tasteful and the shoes match, then I think it’s acceptable.” Her caution: “Keep those feet well-groomed!”  And remember: “No one wears sandal-foot panty hose anymore–the horror!”

Hey, wow, a female law grad with some good sense when it comes to fashion.  No doubt she is married and has either “opted out” or is on “flex time” by now.  Good for her.

And the the answer is correct.  If you’re otherwise dressed professionally, no one is going to notice your shoes.  But, if your skirt is four inches too short and your cleavage is bursting out, likewise, no one is going to notice your shoes.

They See Me Deposin’, They Hatin’, They Try to Catch Me Lawyerin’ Dirty

[ABA Journal]

In a deposition with DuPont’s lawyers in a case involving something about harm to crops and fungicide or something that’s only interesting if you sit in a law office all day and are starved for entertainment, attorney Robert Joseph Ratiner made a display of how one ought not to behave.

According to an opinion from the Florida Supreme Court:

During the course of the deposition, [opposing counsel] attempted to place an exhibit sticker on the Respondent’s laptop computer.

Just prior to [opposing counsel’s] attempting to place the exhibit sticker on the computer, the Respondent was standing up and speaking forcefully towards [opposing counsel].

As soon as [opposing counsel] attempted to place the exhibit sticker on the computer, the Respondent very briefly touched [opposing counsel’s] hand, then attempted to run around the table towards [him].

Additionally, the [deponent] expressed that she was very scared as a result of the Respondent’s conduct. The Respondent’s own consultant had to attempt to calm the Respondent down and specifically told the Respondent to ―take a Xanax.

Further, while the Respondent was acting as described above, the court reporter stated, ―I can’t work like this!

Respondent then proceeded to forcefully lean over the deposition table, lambast [opposing counsel] in a tirade while proceeding to tear up the evidence sticker, wad it up and flick or toss it in the direction of [opposing counsel].

The Florida Supreme Court dropped the boot on Ratiner, giving him a 60 day suspension, and requiring him to write letters of apology to those present at the deposition and attend mental health counseling.

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Billable Hour Factory Line Worker

Posted in Uncategorized on June 10th, 2010 by bl1y

Last week the ABA Journal ran a story about community pages automatically created by Facebook which drew text from the job descriptions in people’s profiles.  Quite a few cast a glum light on the legal profession, with perhaps “Slave” at Skadden Arps being the most telling.

The ABA Journal then posed a question to its readers, “What poetic, alliterative, & not-so-nasty words would you use to describe your position at your firm?”  And, as usual, when they posted this week’s question (about dress codes), they also ran last week’s featured answer:

In case the text from that screen shot is too small to read, it says:

Posted by BL1Y.com: “I used to list myself as a ‘billable hour factory line worker,’ because that pretty accurately describes life as a junior associate at a big law firm. You’re not there to produce great research or polished memos; you’re there to produce billable hours. But, since the economy happened, I’ve changed my job title to ‘welfare queen.’ “

It’s about time my licorice wit got some recognition. (And not just from the amazingly talented comedian Ben Corman, who kindly linked to yesterday’s post about not having it all.  Be sure to take a jog over to AttentionCrash.net, read his comedy, and listen to his radio show with Dr. Rob.)

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Northwestern Market Trends

Posted in Uncategorized on June 8th, 2010 by bl1y

Kudos to Northwestern for publishing some fairly non-sugar coated information about the legal market.

Check out Northwestern’s Market Trends page here, and listen to Dean van Zandt discuss the legal market and salary reporting on the ABA Journal Podcast here.

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BL1Y Now on ABA Journal Blawgs

Posted in Uncategorized on February 18th, 2010 by bl1y

Root roo!  You can now find BL1Y.com listed on the ABA Journal’s blawgs.

…Along with 2,600 other blogs.

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Reason Not to Go to Law School #22

Posted in Reasons Not to Go to Law School on January 26th, 2010 by bl1y

Salaries to be named at a later time.

A bit of a shocking trend has started in Texas, as firms are giving students offers to start work upon graduation, but without specifying what the salary for the position will be.  At least nine of the largest firms in Texas have made such offers, and students are expected to make a decision whether to accept months before they will have any idea how much the job pays.

Many of the more profitable firms across the country have already given their associates 10% pay cuts (or 15-20% if you count cuts in bonuses as well), and it’s unclear how this will translate to large firms in secondary markets.  I suspect it will be in the 10-15% range, but only time will tell.  This is particularly rough on students who are planning to move (either to the city where they’re working, or just out of their law school dorm) and have to create a budget based on an unknown salary.

But, despite having no idea what they’ll be getting paid, acceptance rates at these firms are up.  That’s just how bad the economy is.  Law students are even more eager to accept their job offers now, despite having no idea what they’ll be getting paid.

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