bl1y

Hey Pols! Hey Pols!
We just arrested the hell outta you!
Rammer Jammer, in the slammer,
Give ‘em hell Alabama!

Yesterday, FBI agents arrested 11 people indicted for their involvement in a scheme to buy and sell votes in the Alabama legislature to get new pro-gambling laws passed.  Among those arrested were four state senators, Larry Means (Democrat), Jim Preuitt (Republican), Quinton Ross Jr. (Democrat), and Harri Anne Smith (Independent).  At least we finally got some bipartisanship in the state government!  Here’s the indictment, and you can watch a press conference about the arrests below.

And, just to make Alabama politics even a little more retarded, Ron Sparks, the Democrat candidate for Governor recently released this ad, attacking the tax policies of the Republican candidate, Robert Bentley:

You heard it right.  Robert Bentley is being criticized for trying to increase state revenues by enforcing existing tax laws.  Ron Sparks has taken the bizarre position of defending tax cheats.  Roll Tide y’all.

Once again I am proud of the people of my state.  Roy Moore, the dumbfrack who got himself ousted from the State Supreme Court for putting a giant 10 Commandments monument in the courthouse lobby, has run for Governor a second time.  After losing in the 2006 primaries with only 33% of the vote, Roy gave us a repeat performance last night by again failing to secure the party nomination, this time with a pathetic 19% of the vote.  Three Republican candidates beat him.  The black guy got 25,000 more votes.

In honor of his sinking ship, here are a couple videos from the campaign trail:

(Most awkward smile ever in the next video.)

By now you may have seen Tim James’s “This is Alabama, we speak English” video floating around the ‘nets, but if you’re a lawyer, you’re really going to want to see this one:

Fuck you, Tim James!

Don’t take away my bread and butter!

Also, don’t make me show up at the police station every 90 days.

(Ousted) Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore (of Ten Commandment Monument fame) is running for governor of Alabama, again.  Last time he ran he failed to capture the Republican nomination, but this time he has an awesome new jingle:

[Disclaimer: "Brand new day" may resemble 1950s.]

A resident of Mobile, Alabama has been to jail 97 times in the last 29 years. Amazingly, he’s only spent 347 days locked up.

Congrats to the Alabama Crimson Tide for their defeat of Texas in the BCS National Championship Redundantly Titled Game yesterday. The heavily favored Tide won 37-21, making coach Nick Saban the first college football coach to win national titles at two different colleges.

Alabama won in a way familiar to many of its fans: sloppy and mean. Texas star quarterback and Heisman finalist Colt McCoy was injured in his first series and was out of the game, replaced by freshman Gilbert.

Gilbert put up a great effort, all things considered, at one point leading Texas within 3 points of Bama in the fourth quarter, though perhaps the close score was due more to serious of foul-ups by Alabama. But, the running power of Richardson and Heisman winner Ingram proved unstoppable, with each running for over 100 yards and 2 touchdown.

I think Gilbert could be a star player next year and will start the season at the top of the Heisman watch. With so many recent trophies going to sophomores, he might be the smart bet. But that’s a long ways off. Today belongs to Alabama.

Yea Alabama, Roll Tide!