Noon-Thirty News 08/02/10

Posted in News on August 2nd, 2010 by bl1y

Bar exam is done, hangover has subsided, all that’s left is the MPRE (lol) and getting your daily news fix restored.

Breaking: Junior Associates Not That Valuable

[ABA Journal]

A new podcast from the ABA Journal discusses the value of junior associates in large law firms.  No surprise, their billing rates are too high and their skill levels too low.  Everyone who is feeling the pressure of the recession (ie: everyone) is looking at ways to get more bang for their buck, and that’s going to mean much less demand for junior associate work:

I was at a group of general counsel oh about a month ago and the question was asked how many of you give instructions to reduce or eliminate the use of junior associates and about half the people raised their hand in the room.

Recession, meet Longevity.

Philadelphia Lawyer Busted for Growing Pot

[420 Magazine]

Attorney Richard K. Creamer was busted for conspiracy to manufacture and sell marijuana after police raided a 1600-plant indoor farm in Philadelphia that produced 15-22 pounds of high quality marijuana a month, with an estimated retail price of $5000-$5500 per pound.

Now, by “Philadelphia Lawyer” I don’t mean THE Philadelphia Lawyer of Happy Hour is for Amateurs fame.  But…I mean…come on.  It’s him, right?

This Little Piggy Went to Law School

[The Careerist]

The Careerist asks whether women professionals risk losing credibility and respect by exposing their toes in the office.

Perhaps the best advice comes from my law school bud, Jennifer, who says it’s the “overall presentation” that counts. “If the whole outfit is too casual or provocative, then that translates to ‘unprofessional,’” she says. “If the clothing is tasteful and the shoes match, then I think it’s acceptable.” Her caution: “Keep those feet well-groomed!”  And remember: “No one wears sandal-foot panty hose anymore–the horror!”

Hey, wow, a female law grad with some good sense when it comes to fashion.  No doubt she is married and has either “opted out” or is on “flex time” by now.  Good for her.

And the the answer is correct.  If you’re otherwise dressed professionally, no one is going to notice your shoes.  But, if your skirt is four inches too short and your cleavage is bursting out, likewise, no one is going to notice your shoes.

They See Me Deposin’, They Hatin’, They Try to Catch Me Lawyerin’ Dirty

[ABA Journal]

In a deposition with DuPont’s lawyers in a case involving something about harm to crops and fungicide or something that’s only interesting if you sit in a law office all day and are starved for entertainment, attorney Robert Joseph Ratiner made a display of how one ought not to behave.

According to an opinion from the Florida Supreme Court:

During the course of the deposition, [opposing counsel] attempted to place an exhibit sticker on the Respondent’s laptop computer.

Just prior to [opposing counsel’s] attempting to place the exhibit sticker on the computer, the Respondent was standing up and speaking forcefully towards [opposing counsel].

As soon as [opposing counsel] attempted to place the exhibit sticker on the computer, the Respondent very briefly touched [opposing counsel’s] hand, then attempted to run around the table towards [him].

Additionally, the [deponent] expressed that she was very scared as a result of the Respondent’s conduct. The Respondent’s own consultant had to attempt to calm the Respondent down and specifically told the Respondent to ―take a Xanax.

Further, while the Respondent was acting as described above, the court reporter stated, ―I can’t work like this!

Respondent then proceeded to forcefully lean over the deposition table, lambast [opposing counsel] in a tirade while proceeding to tear up the evidence sticker, wad it up and flick or toss it in the direction of [opposing counsel].

The Florida Supreme Court dropped the boot on Ratiner, giving him a 60 day suspension, and requiring him to write letters of apology to those present at the deposition and attend mental health counseling.

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Get the Judge a Goat!

Posted in Uncategorized on February 26th, 2010 by bl1y

Several NHL stars may have just killed their chance at winning a multi-million dollar law suit, reports the New York Post.  The players are suing golf-course developer Ken Jowdy, who allegedly took money from the players to invest in real estate, but ended up spending the money on parties with porn stars and Roger Clemens.

Several players, including Sergei Gonchar who played with the 2009 Stanley Cup champion Pittsburgh Penguins, missed depositions they had been ordered to attend.  Their absence may cost them the case.

So what did Gonchar and the other players find more important than attending a deposition?  Competing in the Winter Olympics.

Given that courts have allowed continuances so that clients, attorneys, and probably the judges themselves could watch the Alabama Crimson Tide in the BCS Championship, New Orleans Saints in the National Football Conference Championship, or the LSU Tigers in a national championship game, it seems like it would have been easy to get a court to reschedule a deposition so that witnesses could participate in the Olympics.  My guess is there was just some bad lawyering going on.  Or maybe the court didn’t like that Gonchar is playing for Russia.

If the players do lose their suit over this, I suggest filing the following appeal:

Get the judge a goat!

Get the judge a goat!

Get the judge a goat so he’ll stop fucking us!

[Credit to University of Alabama in Huntsville BYTOR hockey fan club for the cheer.]

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