Thanks to those of you who voted me in the Feministe’s Next Top Troll competition, but unfortunately I didn’t come anywhere remotely close to winning. Freaking 6% of the vote.
I should probably chalk this loss up to the pitiful power of my internet celebrity (come on people! if Stephen Colbert can win competitions to have a part of the International Space Station named after him, I should be able to win a lousy internet poll!), but I’m going to blame this on the fact that I wasn’t actually trolling with my comment.
As I explained earlier, I wasn’t trolling, but rather just pointing out that feeling like you aren’t lusted after sexually is basically the daily norm for all but a few men. Surprisingly, several of the readers came to my defense, arguing that not only was I not trolling, I had a legitimate point to make. While women complain about being looked at too sexually, most men would love to get just a little bit of that type of attention. Just look at the way nudity is used in movies:
Naked female butt = Sexy.
Naked male butt = Funny.
Here’s my favorite comment from one of the readers:
I do believe this guy’s insecurities are sincere, and men as well as women are victims of body-shaming. But, yeah…”men are body-shamed, too!” is not really helpful, denies the existence of sexism, and is also an awesome silencing technique.
Wow! I never knew my comment was so loaded with meaning. I should be a freaking poet!
Alright lady, here’s a basic course in English and logical reasoning skills. If I’m arguing that a similar or corresponding problem exists for men as it does for women, I can’t possibly be denying the problem facing women. To say “we have it bad, too” acknowledges that you have it bad, and simply says that we’re all in the same boat together. When a Mexican says to a black man, “Hey soul-hombre, we got it bad, too,” and the black guy replies “Yeah, but at least we ain’t Arabs,” they’re not denying that any of their groups is discriminated against, they’re accepting that each of them has the same problem.
This just goes to show the sort of Us v. Them mentality that infects a lot of mainstream feminism. They’re not interested in working out solutions or exploring what is actually going on. They just want to fight and they want to win, and they can’t win unless there’s a loser, and that loser has to be men.
There are, of course, a lot of feminists who are actually interested in fighting sexism in whatever form it takes, and hoorah for them. It sucks they get lumped in with the people who disguise their bigotry with equality.
And, just to really drive home how closed minded, intolerant, and hypocritical some of these women are, let me tell you how the troll contest ended. I got ban-hammered. Now, of course it’s the right of anyone who operates a blog to allow or disallow whatever comments they want. But, the right to do something is not the same as the right to avoid criticism. Here’s the comment that got me banned:
Before getting into the substance of the comment, be sure to take a good look at the warning the moderators posted. Warning for transgendered readers! This douchenozzle refers to a (hypothetical) man who desires to be a woman as “he!” If you don’t avert your eyes, your fragile trans-sensibilities may be permanently upset!
Look, you dumb cow, if you’ve survived one day being transgendered, you have a thick enough skin to not have your life shattered over a pretty benign post on the blogosphere. You don’t need some random wannabe-do-gooder protecting you like you’re a little child. Trannies are capable of getting ticked-off for themselves, and when they do, they do it with knives, not faux-progressivism.
But, on to the substance. It’s a legitimate freaking question! Do you really think the readers of Feministe would have been so quick to suggest that my complaint stemmed from a dysfunctional penis (sexist and ablist! sweet!) if they believed I was transgendered? Frack no! The comments would have instantly been about how awful the world has been to me by imposing hetero-normativity and traditional masculinity, and how unfair it is that just because I was born male I wouldn’t get to experience what it’s like to be feminine.
Call a self-righteous hypocritical bigot out, and down comes the ban-hammer.
Now, the moderators claimed that I was banned for improper pronoun usage in referring to a trans woman as “he,” because the proper thing to do is refer to a trans woman as “she.”
Says who? Katherine McKinnon? Carol Gilligan? Some other High Holy Priestess of All Things Gender?
Sorry, but no, this isn’t France, this is America, and in America we don’t have to take orders from some grammar pontiff.
Some trans gender people live as their sex assigned at birth, not as the gender they want to be, and they are well within their rights to do so. Take, for example, Eddie Izzard. Yes, he dresses up in women’s clothing for a lot of his shows and pretty clearly wants to be a woman, but he refers to himself as a man, wears men’s clothes more than women’s, has grown facial hair, and makes a hideous woman (but a decent looking man, which is why he probably dresses as a man so much). He’s even kept an unambiguously masculine name. I refer to Eddie Izzard as “he,” because that’s how he generally presents himself, and how I think he would prefer I talk about him.
Trans gender comes in a thousand different flavors, …sweet, delicious flavors… …And there’s no one set of rules, grammar or otherwise, that is going to fit everyone. Sanctimonious women’s studies professors can’t create any rule that is going to trump mine: if you live as a man, I call you “he,” and if you live as a woman, I call you “she.” That’s it, and I’ll be shocked if anyone finds a system that’s more fair or tolerant.
I grew up in the South and so I, like most people of my generation from here, have very little patience for bigotry of any kind. When you come from an area with the sort of stigma we have, you are more conscious of the issues and work doubly hard to avoid repeating the mistakes of prior generations.
So, if you find Feministe to be as idiotic and self-righteous as I do, feel free to contact the person responsible for putting me on “permanent moderation,” Chally: firstname.lastname@example.org
And PS , you dumb fracking bovine, despite your hand-wringing over accidentally referring to a “trans woman” as a “transwoman,” the polite way to refer to a man who lives his life as a woman is not “trans woman,” it’s just “woman.” But hey, I guess it’s cool to marginalize the very people you think you’re sticking up for, so long as you treat them like children in a very public way and refer to yourself as “one of those scary feminists.”