I Thought Gay Softball Was Redundant

Posted in Uncategorized on April 21st, 2010 by bl1y

[Special thanks to BL2Y (no relation) for sending this story in.]

Three Seattle area men are suing the North American Gay Amateur Athletic Association for discrimination after not being allowed to compete in the Gay Softball World Series two years ago.  The men, who are bisexual, were deemed not gay enough to compete in the tournament, which allows only two straight members per team.  Apparently bisexual isn’t gay enough.

NAGAAA is arguing that it is a private organization, and as such can restrict its membership and cannot be sued for discrimination.  The plaintiffs contend that by using public fields NAGAAA is a “public accomodation,” and as such must comply with anti-discriminatory laws.

I won’t get into the legit merits of the case, since I didn’t learn this shit in law school, and I sure as hell didn’t learn it after.  What’s more important is that this case brings to light just how bigoted many gay people are, especially against bisexuals and transgender people.  Being backwards and ignorant isn’t limited to straight, white males.

The whole idea of an “LGBT” community is a joke.  I get why gays and lesbians unite, that’s sort of a no brainer, but lots Ls and Gs can’t stand Bs or think that Bs aren’t even a real thing and are just showing off to get the attention of the Ss.  And, tons of Ls, Gs, and Bs just flat out can’t stand the Ts.  Trying to unite all the non-straight people is like trying to unite all the non-Christians into one group.  Yeah, let’s make a JMHB Alliance.  That’ll go over real well.

Also, you can’t even define them as non-straight.  Most transgendered people consider themselves straight.  There’s heterosexual, bisexual, and homosexuals, but then there’s also transgender and cisgender.  Most transgendered people are trans-straight, where as most gay people are cis-homo.

And, limiting yourself to Ls, Gs, Bs, and Ts means you marginalize other sexual minorities, such as Intersex.  So, some groups call themselves LGBTI, which means there could just be some other group that they’ve forgotten about.  Others call themselves LGBTQ, using the Q as a catchall, which is basically just like putting “Etc” on the end, but without admitting that’s what you’re doing, and being in the Etc basically means you’re queer, but not an important enough queer to get your own letter.  And then there’s also QSA groups (Queer-Straight Alliance), but again that mis-identifies the distinctions since most transgender people are both queer (because they’re trans) and straight (because they’re straight).

So really, in the end, the only good solutions are to either recognize that you’re all different groups and stop trying to force everyone into an awkward socio-political identification, or just accept that if a dude takes it in the ass from another dude, that’s gay enough to play on your queer little softball team.

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Feminist is a Contranym

Posted in Dumb Ideas Girls Have on April 20th, 2010 by bl1y

Thanks to those of you who voted me in the Feministe’s Next Top Troll competition, but unfortunately I didn’t come anywhere remotely close to winning.  Freaking 6% of the vote.

I should probably chalk this loss up to the pitiful power of my internet celebrity (come on people! if Stephen Colbert can win competitions to have a part of the International Space Station named after him, I should be able to win a lousy internet poll!), but I’m going to blame this on the fact that I wasn’t actually trolling with my comment.

As I explained earlier, I wasn’t trolling, but rather just pointing out that feeling like you aren’t lusted after sexually is basically the daily norm for all but a few men.  Surprisingly, several of the readers came to my defense, arguing that not only was I not trolling, I had a legitimate point to make.  While women complain about being looked at too sexually, most men would love to get just a little bit of that type of attention.  Just look at the way nudity is used in movies:

Naked female butt = Sexy.

Naked male butt = Funny.

Here’s my favorite comment from one of the readers:

I do believe this guy’s insecurities are sincere, and men as well as women are victims of body-shaming. But, yeah…”men are body-shamed, too!” is not really helpful, denies the existence of sexism, and is also an awesome silencing technique.

Wow!  I never knew my comment was so loaded with meaning.  I should be a freaking poet!

Alright lady, here’s a basic course in English and logical reasoning skills.  If I’m arguing that a similar or corresponding problem exists for men as it does for women, I can’t possibly be denying the problem facing women.  To say “we have it bad, too” acknowledges that you have it bad, and simply says that we’re all in the same boat together.  When a Mexican says to a black man, “Hey soul-hombre, we got it bad, too,” and the black guy replies “Yeah, but at least we ain’t Arabs,” they’re not denying that any of their groups is discriminated against, they’re accepting that each of them has the same problem.

This just goes to show the sort of Us v. Them mentality that infects a lot of mainstream feminism.  They’re not interested in working out solutions or exploring what is actually going on.  They just want to fight and they want to win, and they can’t win unless there’s a loser, and that loser has to be men.

There are, of course, a lot of feminists who are actually interested in fighting sexism in whatever form it takes, and hoorah for them.  It sucks they get lumped in with the people who disguise their bigotry with equality.

And, just to really drive home how closed minded, intolerant, and hypocritical some of these women are, let me tell you how the troll contest ended.  I got ban-hammered.  Now, of course it’s the right of anyone who operates a blog to allow or disallow whatever comments they want.  But, the right to do something is not the same as the right to avoid criticism.  Here’s the comment that got me banned:

[Mod note: warning for trans readers re: misgendering]

Imagine an M->F transgendered person made the complaint that as a man he feels he can’t experience the kind of sexiness that might be available to him as a female.

Still trolling?

Before getting into the substance of the comment, be sure to take a good look at the warning the moderators posted.  Warning for transgendered readers!  This douchenozzle  refers to a (hypothetical) man who desires to be a woman as “he!”  If you don’t avert your eyes, your fragile trans-sensibilities may be permanently upset!

Look, you dumb cow, if you’ve survived one day being transgendered, you have a thick enough skin to not have your life shattered over a pretty benign post on the blogosphere.  You don’t need some random wannabe-do-gooder protecting you like you’re a little child.  Trannies are capable of getting ticked-off for themselves, and when they do, they do it with knives, not faux-progressivism.

But, on to the substance.  It’s a legitimate freaking question!  Do you really think the readers of Feministe would have been so quick to suggest that my complaint stemmed from a dysfunctional penis (sexist and ablist! sweet!) if they believed I was transgendered?  Frack no!  The comments would have instantly been about how awful the world has been to me by imposing hetero-normativity and traditional masculinity, and how unfair it is that just because I was born male I wouldn’t get to experience what it’s like to be feminine.

Call a self-righteous hypocritical bigot out, and down comes the ban-hammer.

Now, the moderators claimed that I was banned for improper pronoun usage in referring to a trans woman as “he,” because the proper thing to do is refer to a trans woman as “she.”

Says who?  Katherine McKinnon?  Carol Gilligan?  Some other High Holy Priestess of All Things Gender?

Sorry, but no, this isn’t France, this is America, and in America we don’t have to take orders from some grammar pontiff.

Some trans gender people live as their sex assigned at birth, not as the gender they want to be, and they are well within their rights to do so.  Take, for example, Eddie Izzard.  Yes, he dresses up in women’s clothing for a lot of his shows and pretty clearly wants to be a woman, but he refers to himself as a man, wears men’s clothes more than women’s, has grown facial hair, and makes a hideous woman (but a decent looking man, which is why he probably dresses as a man so much).  He’s even kept an unambiguously masculine name.  I refer to Eddie Izzard as “he,” because that’s how he generally presents himself, and how I think he would prefer I talk about him.

Trans gender comes in a thousand different flavors, …sweet, delicious flavors…  …And there’s no one set of rules, grammar or otherwise, that is going to fit everyone.  Sanctimonious women’s studies professors can’t create any rule that is going to trump mine: if you live as a man, I call you “he,” and if you live as a woman, I call you “she.”  That’s it, and I’ll be shocked if anyone finds a system that’s more fair or tolerant.

I grew up in the South and so I, like most people of my generation from here, have very little patience for bigotry of any kind.  When you come from an area with the sort of stigma we have, you are more conscious of the issues and work doubly hard to avoid repeating the mistakes of prior generations.

So, if you find Feministe to be as idiotic and self-righteous as I do, feel free to contact the person responsible for putting me on “permanent moderation,” Chally: chally.zeroatthebone@gmail.com

And PS , you dumb fracking bovine, despite your hand-wringing over accidentally referring to a “trans woman” as a “transwoman,” the polite way to refer to a man who lives his life as a woman is not “trans woman,” it’s just “woman.”  But hey, I guess it’s cool to marginalize the very people you think you’re sticking up for, so long as you treat them like children in a very public way and refer to yourself as “one of those scary feminists.”

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